This isn’t goodbye just see you later

This has been the hardest week of my life to date. On July 6th, just one day after my sweet niece was born I lost someone very special to me. My in-laws had been at our house doing some lawn maintenance; they finished up, we talked a bit, and they left. My husband, son and I carried out our evening as planned. We had an evening of grilling, music and fun.
Little did we know that on the way back to their house, my in-laws were in a serious traffic accident. My father in-law died on site and my mother in-law was in critical condition air lifted to a nearby university hospital. We found out what happened about 3.5 hours after it happened. It was heartbreaking to say the least.

My father in-law was so much more than just an in-law. He helped, supported, taught, guided, and loved my husband, son and me. He was my dad.

This week has been filled with memories, tears, support, coaching, more tears and healing. My mother in-law is doing great given the circumstances. She has come a long way in a weeks time. She is still being monitored very closely, but at least out of ICU. My husband is doing ok to, once again given the circumstances. He comes and goes out of sadness. We both had some issues with regret, since we had them at our house doing our yard work. They did not need to be doing that for us, but they had been for over a year, so it was just common practice. Never in a million years did we think that anything like this would ever ever happen. But, that is how it goes. You never know when it is your time, and we know that and have started to overcome our regret. We know that they loved helping us with what they did.

Our son is also handling the news pretty well. Actually better than what we expected. Kids truly are resilient. When we first told him he was concerned that he couldn’t call grandma and grandpa’s house that… he was like what am I going to call it now? Just grandma’s house? My brother in-law and sister in-law quickly responded that it will always be grandma and grandpa’s house.
Our son was able to say his final goodbye last night. He was very clear from the minute we told him that he wanted to see grandpa one last time and tell him goodbye.

Today we buried my father in-law. He was an amazing man who did absolutely everything he could for our little family. He was our rock. I will miss our conversations about the latest smart phone technologies, we both were Apple haters and Samsung fans. We were always in an unspoken competition with each other about who had the newest smart phone. I will miss his caring nature when it came to his grandchildren and I will miss his angry rants about sports, politics and people. I will miss his homemade pizza and our annual St. Louis trips. He is now gone, but his legacy will live on in our memories and the new traditions we will have with our family and my mother in-law.


A friend found this for me and I feel that in this time of grief I need to share:

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there – I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints in snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. As you awake with morning’s hush I am the swift-up-flinging rush Of quiet birds in circling flight. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there – I did not die.

Dad will forever be with us, around us, supporting us, guiding us.
I love you Dad!

Tara Beth

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